Dear ,

This morning I’m sharing a quick list of what I’m learning about spiritual care by taking care of my mama this year and especially in the past month. 

, I have been teaching pastoral and spiritual care for many years. I try always to ground it in my experiences of giving and receiving care. And I try to teach it experientially and ask students to pay attention to the full experience of care that is embodied, relational, emotional, and integrated. Both the positive and the negative experiences from my life, and stories in the books and articles I share, inform my teaching. Experiential learning and practice are essential for spiritual care. What we do can be taught, but it can't be reduced to rules. Each new situation calls for its own pace, attention, and response. 

The past month I’ve been absorbed in giving care to my mom in the hospital and in hospice care, and this weekend a list started rolling around in my head. It is not a list of rules, but experiences that stand out in this long holy moment of my life and hers. It's kind of a 'notes to self' and 'remember this later' kind of list.

Here is what I'm learning about spiritual care through the experience of caring for my mama. 

1. Prioritize the person receiving care. It is so easy for everything else practical and emotional, medical and financial to jockey for the driver’s seat of attention, yet it is about the person – return to the person. Talk to them and ask them what they need. Prioritize their well-being. 
2. There is no end to cleaning.
3. Be kind to healthcare workers, and they are much more likely to return the kindness. A note of thanks with bagels and pastries once in a while is good, too.
4. Brush your teeth and go to bed early if you can – self care is very challenging to maintain. Prioritizing your own care is essential if you want to be able to prioritize the beloved person in your care. No either/or decisions here.
5. Crises come in pairs and triplets and quads. It’s rarely ever just one thing. See also: hospice care + ice storm x 8 days without power at home = exhaustion. Grateful for my spouse and partner Lynn who literally kept the home fires burning, kept the cats alive, and then got the third generator going. 
6. Talk about expectations with your fellow caregivers. Assuming gets everyone into trouble eventually. Just talk, even if it’s uncomfortable.
7. Soup goes down easy; and when made with love and care maybe even easier.
8. Hold hands. A lot. It seems to help with the unwinding. 
9. Go to the gym, walk outside, eat something green, put on some lip gloss, or get your nails done – the little routines and habits that keep you feeling like yourself. 
10. Praying takes a lot of forms ... changing a bed, sweeping the floor, doing the laundry, trimming fingernails, sending text updates, refilling the water cup, streaming soft guitar music, watching a movie together, asking questions then listening, waiting for the responses, gentle hugs every time you come and go. 

Bless you in all of your caregiving, . And I know some of you out there are learning the hard way what it is to receive care. May all the spiritual care in your life be mutual and a source of support and learning in practice. We are transformed into creatures of love when we practice giving and receiving love. May you know without any shadow of doubt that you are beloved. For when all else fails and life comes to a close, love remains. God’s love is here with us all along. Beginning to end. Let yourself know it all the way down. 

Let us continue to hold the Christ-light for each other.

Peace, 

Eileen

Mini Writing Retreat

This Friday, February 6

About that deadline... Maybe it is your sermon series for Lent. Maybe it's an article you've been trying to put together. Maybe it is the memoir you're finding the courage to write. Maybe it is a letter to your local or national representative. Maybe it is a book proposal or a poem or just your own reflective journal. 

If you have a deadline, we have a way to help you meet it. Join us to write in community and be amazed at what you can accomplish in an afternoon. 

Our next beloved mini writing retreat is this week! It is the ideal setting for meeting your deadline. Or just making progress on your next writing project! Join us on February 6 to start or maintain momentum on your writing goals for this year. 

Members of the Writing Table receive a 50% discount. Check your email for the code!

Monday Morning Email

Monday morning emails are continuing to come your way. Every week we aim to offer inspiration and information to help you improve your spiritual practices of ministry, writing, teaching, and mentoring. We will also give sustained weekly attention to what is happening with the emerging State of Clergy Report. Many other writing projects are also underway, and I will be sharing those with you as they come to life.

Each week on Mondays, I look forward to supporting and nurturing your growth in your spiritual practice. And we continue to offer live events, such as the upcoming Mini Retreat on February 6. Being together, even in digital and hybrid spaces, where we prioritize community and real time shared practice (across many time zones), is one of the best and most nurturing forms of support we have found over the last seven years of 3MMM. Let's continue finding ways to connect with each other. When pastors, professors, writers, and poets join each other to improve our practice, the results feel nearly miraculous.

We are grateful for you, , and sending you strength and encouragement for your journey.

An Update from the 
New State of Clergy Report

As promised, we are sharing milestones and news related to the new State of Clergy Report as it becomes available. 

This week I want to tell you about growth and change for African American Baptist women in ministry. Our friends at Baptist Women in Ministry released a new "State of Women in Baptist Life" Report in December 2025. It includes findings about Baptist women pastors and clergy. One of the exciting parts of the report comes from the North Carolina General Baptist State Convention. This group is approximately the same size in terms of numbers of churches and ordained leaders as the Cooperative Baptist Fellowship. 

In 2013 women were estimated to be less than 1% of the pastors in Black Baptist churches across multiple denominations. In 2025 the SWBL report says 33 women are serving as pastors and co-pastors of GBST-NC churches. That means they are pastoring 2.3% of the 1423 churches. This is just one state in one historic Black Baptist denomination. Such encouraging news! 

If you want to know more about the revised and expanded State of Clergy Report that is currently under construction, please stop by and read more here:  

What changes have you witnessed for women and 

lgbtiq leaders in your denomination?

We welcome your input as we continue researching the next State of Clergy report. What would you like to share?

• information
• stories
• data
• books
• articles
• blogs
• news reports 
• elections of bishops or other church leaders
• conferences and events
• people we should interview
• questions you must have answered! 

All contributions will be independently verified before including them in the report. 

Our question for you today: 

What have you learned lately about spiritual care? 

Remember, , what you do and who you are matters! I believe in you, and I hope you will let me know how I can support you!

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