Hello, -

Today at my school, Union Theological Seminary (NYC), fall orientation is in full swing. Or as I often refer to the start of seminary: disorientation. And it seems a good time to reach out to you again this week. I've got a few things to share. 

First, a story. 

Here's the overview. I keep doing little things to embarrass myself and multiply stress this week. I missed some communications with my team, which caused some stress. Messed up my calendar more than once. (Thank you multiple time zones!) Then, I left my mic un-muted at the Writing Table. None of these sound like a really a big deal, I guess. But I'm feeling like a nitwit this week! Have you ever had a week like that?

So much is going on in my life at the moment. I'm on the road (3 days and 4 cities) and trying to support family and friends and students and colleagues through transitions and loss and just simple favors. And when I dropped a couple of those strings this week, several balloons floated away.🎈

I wish I was one of those people who could just say "oh well!" and keep moving. But that is hard for me. I'm working intently, yet the old messages get going in my head. As a recovering perfectionist, I quickly find myself mucked up in uncomfortable feelings. (Anger, blame, guilt, you know the ones, right?)

The perfectionism lives deep, and it raises it's miserable head at the most unhelpful (a.k.a. stressful) times.  

Stop Perfectionating!

Each fall when a new semester begins, and the stress rises, I remind my seminary students that a part of going back to school is letting some things go. For example, seminary is graduate school, and it cannot really be squeezed into a full time job. (They rarely believe me on this point, and need to learn it first hand.) Nor can all those prior volunteer commitments hold up through reading, class time, and paper-writing. I do not mean you should quit everything! Yet letting go of some things is needed if you want to operate with some margin in your life. 

One of the things I have to let go, if I'm going to risk new things, and deal with the resulting stress is perfectionating. Yes, that's right. Perfectionate is one of my favorite words. When we perfectionate, we obsess a little too long, worry too much, try too hard to improve things. It steals both time and joy from the tasks and moments we might otherwise adore. It multiplies rather than alleviating stress.

Now this week's experiences are a sneaky way that I perfectionate. Have you ever expected other people to read your mind? 🔮 Ever tried to squeeze 10 pounds of sugar into a five-pound sack? None of it works. Then, we have all the feels about it. 

What if missteps are an opportunity to reconnect? What if missteps are an opportunity to connect with you, ? I'm seeing mine as a chance to tell you more honestly about me.

One thing my blunders lead me to... is a chance for me to listen and follow some of this week's really excellent advice from pastors and professors who care deeply about the practice of ministry and the life you and I are called to live. All of their advice is spot on - for me! 😊

This week at the 3MMM blog we shared beautiful wisdom from pastors, professors, and recent seminary graduates. However, it is not solely for seminary students. It is for all of us who trying to live the #ministrylife. Whatever our struggles, shame, perfectionism, fear, anxiety, or self-doubt, these words of encouragement from wise mentors can help me and you on our journey. I do not want you to miss their words of wisdom. 

We also have a blessing for starting seminary that we hope you will share with someone you know who is heading back to school this fall. Professors can read it in class. And it can be shared on social media. Enjoy!

Dear

Speaking of the #ministrylife, Three Minute Ministry Mentor is launching a year-long community, and we are gathering now. Baptized & Ordained is a community of learning, support, and connection -  and if the life of ministry is yours, then I want to invite you to join us! 

Question heard this question this week: 

Do I have to be ordained to join this community? 

Answer: Absolutely NOT. Everyone is welcome to join. The book will be about the practice of ministry, but people featured in the book are not all ordained. Some who are ordained had a very long and winding road to get there. When I talked about ordination with my team recently, it really hit a nerve. If that's you? Well, this community is exactly for you!

, I believe you are someone who cares about the practice of ministry, about what happens to women and LGBTIQA+ ministers, and you are someone who cares about how church and ministry are changing . . . That means I think you are going to love this new community! 

In the video below. You'll learn more about about the Baptized & Ordained community and about the book-in-progress by the same title. We are...

• * gathering with people who share your ministry concerns and values 
• * reading and inviting your feedback on my forthcoming book Baptized & Ordained: How Women and Queer Clergy are Changing Ministry for Good
• * giving you access to a private Facebook group and live events to connect with other ministers
  * sharing with you a copy of Baptized & Ordained when it is published!
•  

Watch this video to learn more!